Jane

The other day I was walking with a friend at the park nearby and we were talking about her relationship with her husband. I can still remember how sweet they were back in our younger days. They were often seen together at the library with smiles on their faces while talking with each other like no one was there. He would always fetch her after school, spend dinner together and finally take her home. They never let life's hardships tear them apart, they were inseparable. It was a perfect love story as the keen eyes could see. Eventually they were married after college and for the past 11 years I never heard any problems of them except of course the toilet habits. Jane (not her real name) is a strong woman who bears with her husband's occasional tantrums and always understands her husband's ill - temper from time to time. Jane often defended him saying he was just stressed from work. I admire the unconditional love she gave him. But after talking to her for almost 2 hours at the park. I was shocked to know they were filing a divorce. Luther, her husband (not a real name) had an affair with his secretary and now bearing his son. She was sobbing while she was telling the whole story. What? When? Why? How? I can't seem to finish a sentence as I was trying to stabilize my thoughts. I couldn't believe it. How can an almost perfect love story ends in separation? I was crying too. I felt her pain and couldn't careless of people staring at us while passing by our way. Luckily I brought a pack of tissue with me that day. I couldn't offer anything but to be with her and just comfort her and listen to her aching cry. When she calmed down. I prayed with her encouraging "to put her trust in God"........ I haven't heard about her for a while as Jane and Lucas, her son (not a real name) went abroad and Luther was left behind with his mistress. I started hating the "other woman" how can she do that to my friend and her family. My heart was pulsating with unforgiveness but I pull my strength from above in order to forgive her. ( Matthew 18:21-22)

In the study made by the Philippine Commission on Women they have found out "the proportion of married men engaging in extra marital sex was found to be 36% compared to 2% of married women".....(read more) In the office having an affair is  so rampant as almost "one of the coolest thing to do" the more mistress you have the more handsome you become. This is the most twisted and worldly way of looking at things demoralizing the sacredness of marriage. As Christians what should be our stand? To hate the unfaithful husband? to put a curse unto the disrespectful and selfish woman who love a husband of another? or to hate the society for allowing this thing to happen?

The Bible says:

To the Husband/Wives:

"Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ..."

~ 1 Corinthians 7:1-40 ESV

To the Unfaithful One :

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

~ Matthew 5: 27 - 28

...... The bible tell us "adultery" is not merely having physical interaction with another but also a matter of heart and mind. Women are not exempted on this. When you look at a man/woman do you commit adultery with him/her in your heart? Like I once heard from a TV ad "big things, comes from small beginnings" it does not just happen in a snap of finger. It always start from petty fondness we continue to express or certain feeling we tolerate. Building friendships is not the issue if both are single and not committed to anyone. Building friendship with a married woman or man rather is a different story and should  have its limitations. I remember Ptr. Dennis Sy said: "Emotional Intimacy with another woman/man other than your spouse can be considered emotional adultery. Your spouse should be your best friend". We have to be careful how much of these emotions we allow in our hearts. As a man/woman of God we must also learn to protect our brothers/sisters in Christ not to stimulate any lustful intent. Be cautious of how we dress and interact with them and not be the object for them to sin. Ladies let us carry ourselves as a true women of God as described in the scriptures.

The bible says:

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.

~ 1 Peter 3:3-5 

..... The scriptures encourages to be like the holy women of the past who put their hope in God to be adorned and not to be anything the world consider beautiful. I am not against fashion, I honestly think   women shouldn't be deprived of wearing accessories, jewelries or beautiful clothing but to me? nothing is far more beautiful than a woman who wear her "faith in God" as her clothing and accessorizes herself of God's goodness, but also fears and love the Lord. Her beauty then radiates like a morning star in broad daylight. (Proverbs 31:30)

To  the Husbands/Wives who fears the Lord:

Husbands:

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

~ Ephesians 5:25-33

Wives:

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

~ Ephesians 5:22-24

...... This is an encouragement to all of us, single or married hearing stories like the many Jane's of this country. I ought to encourage every women, myself included to first and foremost seek God (Matt. 6:33) allow ourselves to be lead by God's spirit and obey His will for us. (Jeremiah 29:11) Join a Christian small group and be part of each other's journey. Encourage and discern one another's judgement and decision - making in any issues of life, guided by God's words. Nurture our families and bring them closer to God. Participate actively to any ministry God call us to do. This will give us more room to mature in faith and allow others to grow with us. Lastly, an encouragement to the men "be courageous" to say "No" when needed. To say "Yes" when God calls you to lead, protect, provide and love your family unconditionally.

I leave you with the song "Love Is Not A Fight" by Warren Barfield, to remind each and everyone of us that "Love is a Decision" as Ptr. Joseph Bonifacio said. Whether "In sickness" and "In Health" you decide to love the person "unconditionally" just like Christ loves us. 

..... Love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for.... Therefore, "What God had joined together let no man put asunder"  ~ Mark 10:9

Also, read my previous post: While I'm Waiting