God's Best or All The Rest

CHRISTIAN DATING: God's Best or All The Rest

By: Belinda Elliott

CBN.com Senior Producer

Sure, maybe he’s not Prince Charming, but he’s a good guy.

I know he loves me, I just wish he’d treat me better sometimes.

Maybe it’s not the best relationship, but what’s the alternative? No one else is asking me out.

What if I can’t find anyone better? At least I’m not alone.

Ever had these thoughts about someone you are dating? I’ve been there. Too many of my friends are finding themselves there now too. I can’t say that I’m an expert on relationships, but if there is one thing that I feel like God taught me during my dating years (and it took about three years too many for me to learn this) it is that you should never settle for less than God’s best.

I’ve read many books about relationships and Christian dating. My favorite one by far is Choosing God's Best by Don Raunikar. His views helped me establish my own standards regarding marriage. I decided that I wanted nothing less than God’s best for me.

What does that mean?

It means if you have doubts about the relationship, if your significant other doesn’t treat you with the upmost respect, if you argue more than you get along, if you constantly find yourself defending him or her to your friends, then end it. I know that sounds harsh, but let me explain my theory on Christian dating.

I do not believe in “soul mates,” necessarily. But I do believe that if you are seeking God’s will about who you date, He will lead you to someone that is a true fit for you. I don’t mean that your future spouse will be perfect or that you will think alike or always agree on everything. That will never happen. But I do believe that if you seek God’s guidance, He will lead you to the person who is going to be the best match for you. I believe that God pairs us up with people that complement the gifts, talents, and personalities that He has given us – if we let Him.

I have found this to be true in my own life. The guys I dated before I began dating my husband were not all bad guys. In fact, most of them had many good qualities. We genuinely cared about each other and had fun together. But in each relationship there were things that didn’t feel quite right.

In some relationships, I found myself compromising some of my values to be more in line with that guy’s. In other relationships, I began to think that some of the things I had wanted in a husband were perhaps more wishful thinking than things that could actually be. Did those caring, sensitive, funny, godly men really exist?

For instance, one guy that I dated was a very nice guy. But although he said his faith was important to him, attending church and reading the Bible were not high on his priority list. I had to ask myself, “Is he really on the same page as me when it comes to my Christian faith?” “If we have children, will it be important to him that they are raised by godly principles and involved in church?” It turns out we were not in sync on these issues, and I decided to end the relationship.

Another guy was also an okay “match” in many ways. But I began to notice subtle patterns that bothered me. His job often seemed more important to him than our relationship, and he would repeatedly put friends or family before me. For someone whose “love language” is spending quality time together, that was a major issue. When friends began to point out other red flags about our relationship, I took some time to seriously seek God’s will on the matter.

I’d been struggling with making a decision about this particular relationship for at least a year. I truly wanted to do what I felt was God’s will, but I also really didn’t want to give up the relationship. It wasn’t until I was fully ready to obey God’s leading, that the answer came. Once I took my fingers out of my ears and agreed to truly hear what God had to say, His answer was quite clear. “No, this is not the one for you.” After that I made the difficult decision to break up with the guy.

Does it hurt to end a relationship? Of course it does. It’s not easy to break up with someone that you have grown close to. But I’m convinced it is much less hurtful than spending your life being miserable in a marriage.

After that relationship, I had come to the end of my dating rope. “I don’t want to fall in love with anyone else until it is ‘the right one,’” I told God. Since I had not done such a great job of choosing relationships on my own, I decided to let God choose the next one. I wouldn’t even consider dating again until I had sought His will about the person and the relationship.

It was after this that God began unfolding the events that led me to start dating Matt, the man that would become my husband. We had met in college and built a solid friendship through the years, but I had not considered him in a romantic way (although he repeatedly let me know that he was somewhat interested in me).

However, once I put God in charge of my love life, a funny thing happened. I began to see in Matt several of those “husband material traits” that I had been searching for with other guys. I ran down the partial list in my head and realized they were all there.

Godly, Christian man? Check.
Capable of being the spiritual leader in the relationship? Check.
Sensitive? Caring? Funny? Check, check, check!

As I began to observe his life and how he interacted with others, as well as how wonderfully he always treated me, I decided that there could really be something here. As I prayed about it, I felt like God gave me permission to pursue it. Later on, when I prayed about the possibility of marriage, God answered that prayer clearly too. The rest is history. We dated for about 10 months before he proposed.

And now, after nearly four years of marriage I am so glad I followed God’s leading. It’s not that my husband and I never disagree, or that we do not get on each other’s nerves periodically, but married life is so much simpler when you know that this is the person that God led you to. With that in mind, we know God will see us through whatever difficulties we face in the future. And as I look back on past relationships, I can see why Matt and I are the best match compared to others we each dated.

Don’t get me wrong, you could probably make your current relationship work. I believe that there are any number of people that we each could marry and make it work – and even be happy. But I also believe that we will be happiest in marriage if we allow God to choose our mate for us. That doesn’t mean waiting for God to drop that person into your lap, or waiting for a flashing neon sign to blink over his or her head identifying that person as “the one.” Instead, it means taking each relationship to God and asking, “Where do You want this relationship to go?”

And the next step is just as important, are you truly willing to abide by God’s answer?

If God’s will is for you to be married, then I believe He wants you to have the best marriage possible. You deserve someone who will appreciate you for who God made you to be, encourage you to grow spiritually and embrace all that God has for you, and cherish you as a precious gift from your Heavenly Father. Don’t settle for less than that.

The question I've posed to my friends lately, and the one I would ask of all Christian singles, is this: Are you willing to wait for God’s best or are you simply settling for all the rest?

Who I am?

I posted this in my other blog and I was reviewing some of the blogs I had posted there and I realized I needed this here...



As a Person

❤I am a child... who is still unaware of some battles of life, therefore needs guidance as I walk the uncertainty of it.
❤ I am a woman... who has limitations, often lacks the strength to face the heaviness of life's battle.

On my faith....

❤I am not perfect.... I have my own flaws and needs God, so I won't be persuaded easily by worldly deeds.
❤ I am a student.... still learning about God and his ways.
❤I am a seed.... needs nourishment by feeding my soul the bread of life (God's word)...

I will be who God wants me to be.... but as I mature in faith I have to prepare myself to:


✥Get hurt, and feel pain....
"The PAIN caused you to REPENT and CHANGE your ways"
~ 2 Corinthians 7:9

✥Live for others and not for myself...

"And if your brother be waxen poor, and fallen in decay with you; then you shall relieve him: yes, though he be stranger, or a sojourner; that he may live with you"

~ Leviticus 25:35

✥Continue to live in the scriptures...

"Men does not live with bread alone, but in ever word that comes from the mouth of God" ~Matthew 4:4

.......I am not perfect, and I know to be successful in my journey I can not do it in on my own... but through Christ alone.... I would no longer boast about worldly deeds but I'll be bold in sharing God's words....

Obedience

Obedience is difficult or for some a struggle to come by with. But its better to learn God's lesson in obedience than learned it in difficult experiences. God reveal to us his plans when we fully obey. In our waiting season, like an ordinary rock ( us ) let us allow the sculptor ( God ) to take away every unwanted parts in our lives ( may it be career, plans, relationships which are not pleasing to God ) yes, its painful and will definitely hurt but these excess baggage ( sin ) once removed, we are then allowing God to fully use us in becoming his "masterpiece". And if along the way we get lost or still searching what is God's will for us, just trust God's promises (Romans 12:2) let us return to the Bible which serve as our guide in continuing our walk of faith. ( Matthew 4:4 )

The Bible says:

"If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth."

~ Deuteronomy 28 : 11

.......In obedience to God's commandment he will set you in a far off place than where you are right now, may it be physically, emotionally or spiritually.... I remember a friend told we "a partial obedience is not obedience at all" but "it is in full obedience we serve God's purpose" ...  

The Bible says:

"Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free."

~ Ephesians 6 : 6 - 8

......As the scripture says, "serve wholeheartedly" the service we do for others... We do it for the Lord, but what we have done is not for us to boast... but to give glory to God... to serve without expecting in return, to be of service without demands, to be a servant of God not for man but for God's glory... to obey not just to act but to have the right heart....

"For whatever we do in God's name.... 

it honors God....."

I leave you with the song: "The more I seek you" by Kari Jobe, I believe the more we seek of God the more we know him and when we do, obedience follows...

Also, read my previous post : Bible

The Bible

Back in my younger days, I really hate reading books. I am more of the listening-to-teacher-and-watching-videos-over-reading-really-long-novels type of a girl.... I never wanna spend time reading books for 3 days, when I can watch a movie about it in one and a half hour. Its how I learn, I learned more on things that I visually understand than read and visualize what was read. But you see, as time goes by people mature and at this point we are more laid-back. We learned new things differently each time. When I decided to follow Christ, he gave me the longing to know him - all of him. His ways, teachings, people and his will and aside from going to church to know all these things I also decided to read. Read as many scriptures in the bible I can think of.

Don't you know that every little thing that we ask or want to know in our life is in the bible?

And yes, everything.... but then again, its not as precise answers as we hoped for... but its more of what we needed to know to make the right decision in every aspect of our life....

Its more of Love Notes, Reminders and a Memo written by God anointed people, so the youth, leaders, and parents of today will acknowledge how God wants us to live our lives no matter what year, nation, and race we are born in.

In every battle, we needed an armor... (Ephesians 6:17)
In our every day life, we needed food to nourish our soul... (Matthew 4:4)
In all the days of our life, we needed guidance.... (Psalms 119:105)



Coming from the one-maker, one provider, and one God - Jesus Christ.... his life, love, and amazing story... has been written in the "Bible"....

"One will never fully lived to know God's ways, when one does not read his own bible"

Start your own habit.... Read the bible.....
Make it part your life.... Do it everyday...
Apply what was written...  and  Encourage others to do the same...




I leave you with, "Thy Word":





Also read, my previous post: Fruits of the Holy Spirit

Fruits of the Holy Spirit

The Bible says:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self - control. Against such things there is no law."

~ Galatians 5 : 22 - 23

..... Only when having the right relationship with Christ we can be baptized by the Holy Spirit and living according to what the scriptures says, we begun to see the fruits of the Holy Spirit. When continually obeying to God's word our hearts become renewed. We no longer desire the same things,  that is made of this world but we are now living according to the result of following His word. Unknowingly we become a changed person - a born again, in our own little way we execute these things. But these acts does not come from us, but from the Holy Spirit who dwells in us. It is because God has already instill in us the desire to change; mind, body, and soul. Aligned to what God had already planned. Nothing but the best of his perfect will for us.

"A Royal Princess"

When I was about five years old, I can still remember I used to go to my Dad's closet (yes, my dad's closet! ^_^) to look for his big jacket. And what I would do with it, was wear the jacket from my waist so it will be like a gown (I am not kidding... ^_^) then cover my whole body with a blanket to get the illusion of a dress worn by Princesses in the medieval days. Then, I would walk around the room holding the dress a little higher to see the shoes I borrowed from my Mom. Reminiscing those days today makes me happy. Even as a child, I dreamed to be a "Princess".

"A person is either born into a royal family or not. If not, then no amount of intelligence, education, good looks, or money will make one royal. Peter calls us royal priesthood. As Christians, we are born into a privileged bloodline. Because we are royalty, we should hold our heads high and walk in confidence.

Not only we are born-again into a royal bloodline,we are royal priesthood. For the Jews in ancient Israel, to be a priest was a spiritual privilege for a few. The priest had special access to God. The priest had a place of honor in society. In Christ, we have special access to God and a place of honor as His royal priesthood.

We are royalty. We are priesthood. We should act like it by living in the presence of God"

~ Steve Murrell, (Identity, Experiencing Victory. IBS 2011)

.......... I was reading this while attending one of the seminars we have at the church. I was sitting down and tears watered my eyes... Because, all along I was dreaming of becoming a princess not knowing my true Identity in Christ. But the truth is, as what it says in the scriptures "I am a Princess" after all. Daughter of the King of kings and Lord of all ---- Jesus.

I leave you with a claiming heart, "I am his daughter" by Nicole Sheahan

Also, read my previous post: Holy Week

Holy Week...

Why did Jesus have to die?

The bible says:

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
~ Romans 6:23


......The bible says the penalty of our sin is death, the Lord requires punishment for any unrighteousness and that whoever sinned must die. "You are not a sinner because you sinned, you sinned because you are already a sinner, by nature we are a sinner" says Ptr. Paolo. We are all a sinner, and because we sinned we have to die. And when a sin has been committed, someone has to pay it is either the sinner or an exchange for it. In the bible when God has ordered Abraham to sacrifice his son (Isaac) to test his faith, a lamb was provided by God to be a burnt sacrifice instead of Isaac (Genesis 22). In the Passover, when the plague of the first born. The blood of the lamb was shed and placed at the front door of the Israelites, and they were spared (Exodus 11: 1 - 13,16). The blood of the lamb in exchange for the death of the first born son.



The bible says:

"Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!
~ John 1:29

.......Why does it have to be a lamb? because lamb are young (innocent), white (pure) and weak  (harmless). And because of these characteristics, God has chosen a lamb as a sacrifice. You see, we are supposed to die in order for our sins to be forgiven, but because God's standard cannot meet by anyone of us who are sinner in nature. Jesus had been an exchange instead, and He took our place at the cross. Because Jesus like a lamb are free of sin, worthy of God's standard (lamb of God).



The bible says:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
~ John 3:16 ESV



.........It is said, that God has love us so much that he gave Jesus - his very own son to die for us. To sacrifice his worthy lamb (Jesus) for our sins. As it is said in the scriptures, It is finished! long before we are born Jesus had paid the price for our sins. We have been forgiven and we celebrate holy week to recognize that Jesus was the sacrifice for our sins - all because of God's love for us....

"My prayer is for us to commemorate God's love

 this Holy Week to remind us that because we sinned,

Jesus had to die."

I leave you with this song, "We Are The Reason" with the Passion of Christ video to commemorate God's love....






Also, read my previous post: A New Creation